>Is it so hard to be nice to someone you dislike?

>So yesterday I decieded to send my ex boyfriend an email asking him to return the £70 odd worth of Cds and DVDs I leant him when we were going out. I was fairly angry because I’ve asked him several times before, usually resulting with him claiming he will do it, and then blocking me. He sent back a pretty pathetic email telling me I should have taken them last time I was at his house. Of course that is absolutely ridiculous considering the fact I had no idea that he was going to break up with me out of the blue a few days later. So began a heated exchange which ended with him calling me a “face stuffing fat fuck who should go and die”. I don’t know what was worst really, the fact he doesn’t have the decency to return my belongings and is utterly horrible to me for asking – a justifiable request by any standards – or the fact that the whole time he seemed to go by this rather horrible theme of We aren’t going out any more. I can talk to you how I like.

I don’t really understand how anybody can think they are a good person because they are nice to their girlfriends, when they have absolutely no respect for the feelings of another person just because they “arn’t going out any more.” I’m sure Hitler was nice to Eva Braun but it doesn’t make him any nicer a person. I think it actually takes a decent person to be able to be nice to someone they dislike. Not that he has any reason to dislike me because I’ve done nothing to him. And to have to read someone I once believed care about me use my insecurities against me is pretty depressing. I guess the point is that if you ever cared about someone you wouldn’t speak to someone like that would you? I hate feeling like someone only went out of me over desperation. But I guess it happens. The urge to send something back saying “I may be overweight but at least I can diet, you look like Dimebag Darrell’s corpse, and you don’t have any GCSEs” is fairly tempting, but what’s the point?

I’ve had times when I’ve been horrible as hell to people I don’t like. But nowadays I don’t feel the need to. Surely it’s a better strength of character to turn round, smile and act like a better person for it? Controlling your temper is part of maturing, though I guess some people never get to that stage.

Annoyingly there really isn’t anything you can do when you lend someone your stuff and you can’t get it back. It’s a matter of trust, and there’s nothing illegal about betraying trust in this case. I’ll just learn to be more careful around people from now on.